


Rules

by uebermensch



Series: The Callback Series [2]
Category: Smallville
Genre: Best Friends, Cousins, F/M, Lois Lane's Rules of Reporting, Male-Female Friendship, She knows his secret, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2015-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-16 14:53:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4629405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uebermensch/pseuds/uebermensch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the CW's "Smallville." Clark Kent operates by a different set of rules, especially because of all the grief he's received from the infamous "Lois Lane's Rules of Reporting."</p><p>References to "Plastique" (S08E02) and "Hex" (S08E17). Post-canon, post-series. COMPLETE, 1/1.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rules

**Author's Note:**

> THE CALLBACK SERIES
> 
> After Clark reveals his secret to Lois in "Isis" (S10E05), they spend some time (off-screen) subsequently revisiting past conversations. In a series of callbacks, I'll revisit scenes and conversations beginning from season 8, although I should examine "Crimson" (S06E13) as well. Anyone have a spare Legion Ring handy? I'm borrowing these characters for this story.

Clark Kent and Lois Lane were on a leisurely stroll to their apartment after dinner with Chloe Sullivan. Lois' cousin had been sent to Metropolis by the Star City Register to fact-check a couple of items for a story involving an outbreak of hostilities between rival gangs trying to gain control of the crystal-meth trade between the two cities. As her paper comped Chloe's stay at the Metropolis Alexandria, they had a one last drink in the hotel bar, before saying goodbyes in the lobby. 

"Do you think my cousin is being overly paranoid?"Lois tightened her embrace around Clark. 

He reached around and squeezed her shoulder in reassurance. "No, I made sure the gangs' activities were snuffed out and the most dangerous members put into jail. But I'll have a quick look now, if you'd like."

She looked sheepish. "It sounds stupid ... but could you? "

He gave her his most reassuring side grin. "Wait right here, I'll be a couple of seconds ..."

WHOOSH.

 _Don't think I'll ever get used to that_ , Lois thought.

And sure enough ... a few seconds later ... WHOOSH ...  

"How do things look?" she asked.

He had zipped back to the same shirt-and-tie combo. "No one suspicious around the hotel, nothing suspicious within the hotel. I checked in with Chloe to be safe, and she even said she was fine ..."

"Thank you, Clark ..."

"You're welcome, Lois ..."

"Hey, Chloe said something funny to me the other day ..."

"What's that?"

"She was having trouble believing you couldn't tell us apart ..."

"Lois, she looked **exactly** like you ... " Zatanna really did a number when she granted Chloe a very "special" birthday wish: to become Lois on a temporary basis.

She put her hand on his chest. "Well, hold on, Clark. She said, and I have to agree with her here: we're kinda insulted. I mean, you've known us for a long time. How the hell could you not tell us apart?"  

"I have to admit you were acting different, more so than usual, and I should've caught onto the fact that this was straight out of Chloe's old wall of the weird and unexplained. In other words, no more unusual than any other day in my life, when stuff like that (... he waved with his hands ...) happens.

Lois stopped them both in their tracks, as a quick thought came to her. She narrowed her eyes and scrunched her mouth. "You really did miss my assertive flair, didn't you?"

"Uh … "

"Well? Clark?"

"Yes well …" 

"And even though you put up with my ridiculous post-lunch pre-dinner after-coffee snack breaks, you always bring me maple donuts ..." 

"Ridicu ...? Lois," he clarified with the voice of an infinitely patient man. "It's because I know they're your favorites, and when you're low in blood sugar, you'll find someone to slug. And if it's me? Well, you'll only hurt yourself. Because from the "Kent Rules at Work": rule number one - even though she should be cutting down on her sugar intake, never ever let Lane get low on blood sugar."

"Ohhhhh reallllly? So you got your own rules now, eh buddy?" Her tone was deceptively light and casual; the meaning was anything but.

"It's not for me; I had to write some guidelines for the next poor sap who's unlucky enough to be in your line of fire."

She narrowed her eyes at him. He had to take a step back, as if she could shoot fire at him. And that look she was giving him? Hoo boy, FIRE away, and it's a good thing he's on the proper side of the green-K.

"So what are the rest of these ... so-called Kent's Rules at Work?" 

"Yeah, number 2: always have the final edits. Spelling mistakes will not do; otherwise expect Lane to redline the whole piece.Number 3: when she's being sickly sweet (see sugar intake from rule number 1), watch your back. Rule number 4 ... " He looked back at an increasingly agitated Lois. 

"Lois ... you really should be writing these down ..." 

"Claaaark!" She knew he was mocking her, and yet, she didn't want to be mocked, at least not if Clark had the one up on her.

"And no, they are not 'Kent's Rules at Work'. They are ... 'Kent Rules at Work' ..."

"You wish!And I think you're missing an apostrophe and an 's' ..."

"No no, Lois ... Kent rules at work ..."

"Did you get hit by a red-K bullet, because that is HIGH-larious ..." 

"Well, just between you and me, you know I do kinda rule at work ... well, I suck a little less ... because ..."

"Because I'm your ..."

"... you're my partner. Of course, you are - what do you take me for? Mom didn't raise no fool, you know ..." 

"Well, so long as you know who's always going to be on top ..."

"Yes, I'm very aware just how **much** you like being on top ..." 

"Top of the fold, Smallville; top of the fold ..."

"Suuuuuuure, Lane. I believe you ..."

She laughed at him and he smiled at their verbal gamesmanship. Arms wrapped around the other, they slowly made their way up the street, ending at the stoop to their apartment building minutes later.

"I'm serious, Clark ..." Her mouth was saying one thing, but the look on her face was something entirely different.

"I'm serious, too. Serious enough to remain competitive and keep up with you!"

"Dream on, Flannelman ..." She stood on her tippy-toes and kissed him.

"Hey, you know ... I liked how tight you looked in Chloe's clothes … some naked belly … I've always liked seeing you 'mid-riff' ..."

"Smallville!"

"What?" The innocent small-town boy had reappeared.

"Hey, bub, you're changing the subject, and frankly, you couldn't stop bugging me about proper dress code for days …"

"I know, and I felt kinda let down, too." Clark feigned a look of disappointment.

"I take it all back: you're old-fashioned **and** you've got secret fetishes."

"You're the one who brings out the bad boy in me, Lois; all fiery, determined, and sexy. All free of the red kryptonite ..."

"Oh please, Smallville, don't flatter yourself just because you're complimenting me."

"But you love that dichotomy, don't you? One moment, I'm the bumbling mild-mannered nerd, the next I'm < Superman > (he mouthed). And it's all wrapped in this guy you've got the hots for … and god help me, I've got it bad for you, too … Miss Lane … " 

"That's sooooo hot …" A dreamy look came over her. 

"So you're agreeing with me? You're saying … for the record, that I'm right?"

Tables turned, Lois went from turned-on to ticked-off in an instant. "Now, wait just a mi …"

She didn't get another word in.Her mouth was occupied with his.

She forgot what she wanted to say. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please click on the "Kudos (heart)" button below, and leave a comment!


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